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How Not to Conform When You Know You’re A F***ing Star

The hardest part of growing up for me was having other people tell me that I wasn’t good enough even though I knew that I was going to be a STAR! Now, I’m not necessarily saying that I needed a #1 hit single on the Hot 100 Billboard charts or anything, but I have always known that I was better than 90% of the people around me and that I would become something bigger than what I currently was. Now I’m sure you’re saying, “Ugh Preston! You’re so cocky and that is such a disgusting characteristic!” Well I say to you, “THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONAL PROBLEM CAUSE IM A STAR!” (No, I’m only being cheeky, I just said that to sound cool…which I’m sure that I’m failing miserably at). But I wonder, why don’t we all feel like we can achieve any and everything that we put our minds to? Why is it so “shocking” to believe in yourself past all your flaws and visualize the person you dream of becoming. Why is believing in yourself so damn difficult?

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I went to the movies to see Beyond the Lights a few weeks ago and honestly, it was such a great movie…(I didn’t expect for it to be about anything since the preview is this Rihanna-looking pop star (played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw) spreading her legs singing about being a masterpiece….I knew this movie was going to be horrible)….However, I was pleasantly surprised. In a nutshell, the movie is about a pop star rediscovering who she is at her core after losing herself behind the lights, camera, and pop star persona. Its a gripping tale of how everything that glitters aint gold and you have to be careful when pursuing a career not only in entertainment, but in whatever you decide to do.

Not only am I an aspiring lifestyle and fashion blogger but I also do a lot of work with my community where I see a lot of children who don’t realize the power that they all have. Its heartbreaking because I believe that one of the fantastic perks of living in the United States is that we have the ability to become any and everything we want without limits! But something is standing in our way of becoming the knockout badasses we all can be. Is it society telling us we’re not good enough? Are we just not told enough of what is possible so we never aspire to anything greater? Or like in most instances, is it our parents’ fault?

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Here’s the secret. This is what I’ve learned. You have to begin to love yourself FIRST and discover for yourself the power that’s inside of you. Its not up to anyone else to fill you with a sense of purpose or passion. Its up to you to determine whether you want to have a bright future or a depressed existence. Discover what you enjoy and begin to craft that into something that makes you proud because listening to other people and depending on them to build you up will just make you  feel wonky and you won’t become the person you know you are destined to be.

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I recently bought a pair of Dr. Martens but it took me forever to decide to purchase them because I was so afraid of what they would “say” about me or “what other people would think.” But I finally worked up the courage to buy them and I am absolutely in love and they are my absolute favorite shoe!!!! Be who you want to be for you and be the f*cking star you were always meant to be!…(and excuse the mess, I was in the middle of moving into my apartment :))

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Women Deserve Better than a “Chris Brown”

It’s completely old news, I KNOW…I’ve had a busy week so today was the only day I could get around to writing, but this topic has been on my brain for a while now. Of course I’m referring to the social media beef Chris Brown got into with The Real hosts, Tamar Braxton and Adrianne Bailon this past week which left me scratching my head in complete shock as to why a grown man would be acting like a twelve year old girl over the internet. The complete script is below:

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Chris Brown wrote this response after hearing what a few of the ladies said on their talk show:

BRING THAT ASS HERE BOY” ADRIENNE BAILON…. You ole trout mouth ass bitch. U tried it. Won’t u the same bitch that was fucking wit married men? U also was keeping up with the Kardashians! U can’t talk about relationship goals when u don’t even have life goals. Ain’t you a cheetah girl? Last time u was important niggas was riding spinners and wearing 6x talk Ts. You the same bitch having threesomes like the rest of these hoes. U tried it too Tamara Braxton. U take the role of the ugly sister. It’s always the people wit no career that talk all the shit. Dat plastic surgery fucked yo face up. Bitch look like she always saying “huh”? Muppet face ass! #basicbitchproblems #thotiannas I don’t even need a photo for Tamar, that bitch is beat in every photo! #icanmakeabrokebitchrichbutidontfuckwitbrokebitches

This was Tamar’s response:

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#whenyourgirlhasatalkshowinsteadofcryingaboutyouwhileONone… you are asked to talk about certain things such as A.relationships B.family C.fashion D. Things that has to do with HER in life! @chrisbrownofficial @karrueche no one came at either of you but was simply using your relationship as an example of things us ladies go through in a relationship!! I do not know nor do I give a hot damn about your relationship personally…. honestly and respectfully I’m VERY sorry if you BOTH were offended about our girl chat…. however you WILL NOT think its ok to come at GROWN women and talk to either myself or @adrienne_bailon as if u have EVER has us each in your bed at ANY point in our lives! (Maybe your mind is clouded) NOTE TO SELF: u are NOT my MAN or my DADDY so you got me completely FUCKED up!…(like your reputation) I’m not 20 nothing years old and I am fine with all 3 #1 tv shows and making my dreams come true with Love&War and now #letmeknow…which is on iTunes 😊 you are only a few years older than my son and I will not tolerate your disrespect when no one was coming for you!!! so this RICH/BLESSED muppet who WAS always VERY nice to you and your girl will continue to work my ass of and make amazing records and positive television while YOU…In this very queenish mood you are experiencing😴…….Instead of coming on ig…and acting like a B.A.N!!…should have and could have picked up the phone!! 🙋…or watched the show for yourself!!! At least that’s what REAL men do! #thereal on fox and @bet❤️ #backtoworkigo #liveinyourtruth #wewouldbetheBESTJudiesEVER👫 #letmeknowifkarruchiehasamouthsheshoulduseitnotYOU #dontfuckwithmefellasthisisnotherfirsttimeattherodeo #grown💅 #still❤️yalltho #wenotbeefing😘

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So here’s the problem for me. I went back to listen to what the ladies initially said and honestly it wasn’t that bad. Adrianne called Chris a “bad boy.” So I suppose that could have been taken negatively; however, isn’t that the persona that Chris has been trying to take on? Plus Tamar defended him against those claims. So Chris either didn’t take the time to get his facts before he decided to rant or he didn’t give a damn and wanted any excuse to pop off.

I think that his rant was extremely disrespectful, distasteful, childish, insecure, and overall pathetic. If you’re really “the best at what you do” then you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to respond every time someone says something negative. Secondly, if the ladies on The Real were talking about your girl, shouldn’t she be the one to snap back? It would be the most appropriate seeing how all of y’all are grown adults so leave fickle fights between women…between women! Plus for him to lash out and comment on another women’s sexuality and body, attempting to make her feel bad about her actions and decisions is another form of abuse; however, we have people in this world who think Chris Brown is completely justified and they’re the same people who were #teambreezy when he abused Rihanna.

All in all, we need to stop supporting individuals like Chris Brown and its all because he has an inflated ego but he doesn’t understand that though he’s talented, there are hundreds of other talented people waiting to take his spot. If he thinks he’s as loved and as legendary as Michael Jackson, he needs to pull his head out of his ass and reevaluate his life. Women should be celebrated and honored and treated with the utmost respect, not talked to like dogs and beat on like they’re worthless. Women deserve better than a Chris Brown, this so called bad boy…because a true bad boy may not fuck around with his business or take bullshit, but he treats his woman and the women around him like they’re queens.

All I need now is for Vince to clap back and put Chris in his place.

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Feminism: Why I Love and F#@kin Hate It

I’ve talked about my stance on feminism before within other posts on FMQ but I have never really just dedicated an entire thought to my love/hate relationship for feminism and folks who call themselves feminists. I mean, Beyonce is my Queen so by default, I have to be a fighter for gender equality, right? But I have a multitude of reasons why sometimes I just want to say FUCK feminism and none of them have anything to do with me feeling any superiority because I have a penis. It all stems from the people who call themselves “feminists” and how they choose to send their message. Nothing sends me running towards the hills quicker than a rally of women burning their bras and dumping pounds of birth control into our water wells. Watch the video below that has been making waves on social media:

  I heard about this video when I was listening to the radio and all the radio djs absolutely HATED that these girls were cursing and raising a middle finger. I actually did not think it was that bad…I mean color me jaded but I’ve seen worse than this from children in the street who were cursing just because it was Tuesday and they were reciting their favorite Lil Wayne or Lil Boosie lyrics (If you don’t know who Lil Boosie is, then take yourself to Spotify and GET YO LIFE…he’s ratchet trash but my goodness I love him.) Anywho…at LEAST these girls were cursing for a reason. I’m not offended in the least; however, this did have me think about my ideal of feminism and why I sometimes want to kick every feminist in the face with a spiked boot…Sorry…but walk with me for a moment…

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As a male, I feel like my role in this quest to gender equality is to shut my mouth and to silently agree with what women are doing. My only problem…besides never being able to shut my mouth…is that I don’t ALWAYS agree with how some people think feminism and feminists should look in our society. I do not believe that burning bras and shaming other people such as celebrities is the appropriate way to spread awareness for equal rights.

I wrote an article a while back about Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda single cover where she is in FULL SQUAT MODE showing her butt to the camera. I thought it was tasteless and I thought she owed her fans more. I was criticized by some readers because they felt I should let Nicki do what she wants and not say anything about it and I’m contributing to women feeling ashamed of their bodies and blah blah blah. My issue was not that Nicki COULD NOT do what she did. I honestly don’t care what Nicki does, as of today, she hasn’t paid ONE of my bills, but while I celebrate her rights as a woman to do what she wants, I do not feel like I have to support her every decision. I consider myself a feminist, a person who believes in the social, economical, and political equality of the sexes (Thanks Beyonce and Chimamanda Adichie) but I don’t always think that being the loudest or the most radical is the way to get your point across. I thought the video was quite mild but lets not get crazy!

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I think that we have a long way to go until every person in this country feels accepted and feels like they have a place among their neighbors but the most important thing right now is to begin the conversation. You can miss me with all the PETA-ish methods to bring awareness to gender rights (women please continue to shower, use deodorant, and shave) but I’ll always be in the fight until everyone feels like they can be who they want to be. Man, woman, gay, straight, bi, trans, tall, short, black, white, chubby, skinny, phat….It doesn’t matter…we’re all humans and we all have to learn to treat each other with love and respect. There’s this episode of Glee that I remember where the students called themselves Unicorns because they were magical and rare, and beautiful and enchanting. I believe we all should strive to be unicorns because a little magic here and there has never hurt anybody…i mean…unless its black magic….then…don’t do that…just good magic…only good :)

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Picture of badass robot unicorn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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10 Reasons Why Fall Can Go Suck It!

October is finally here and for some of us, its the most exciting time of the year, for others (like myself whose heart is BLACK *insert emo face*) dread seeing the leaves turn colors, grass dying, and the temperature drop below 95…at least here in Texas anyway. You may be asking yourself, “Gee Preston, I thought EVERYONE loved Fall. Why don’t you? You stupid or sum thin’?” Well…no, I like to think that I have the cure for cancer locked deep inside my brain, all I would need is for someone to pull that greatness out of me and donate 3 easy payments of $99.99. No big deal! Anywho, I have collected my top 10 reasons why Fall can go suck it…and if you don’t know what “it” is, feel free to use your imagination!

1. Girls + Brown Boots

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Like whose idea was this? I’m convinced that every girl has this little microchip in their brain and it sends signals of what other girls are doing. Hoping to not fall victim to FOMO (fear of missing out) they purchase BROWN…not black…not white…BROWN riding boots and wear them everyday, everywhere, ALL THE TIME…What did we do to you?

2. Infinity Scarves

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I love Pinterest…thats where I find all of my pictures…but please, NOT EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE AN INFINITY SCARF! Your neck can’t be THAT cold!

3. New F@#&ing Couples

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I’ve been in a relationship for the past five years, so I get it…but NONE of you guys are concerned with being in a relationship until it becomes “cuddle” weather….#icant

4. Dark Makeup

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Dark makeup is not just regulated to the Fall and Winter months…Dark makeup is cool and sexy as hell! You can wear it all year long…girls are like, “Its finally 79.9 degrees, time to bust out my dark, matte lip!” UGH.

5. Panera Bread and McAllisters

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Why do girls say, “Its so cold outside, I could definitely go from a bowl of soup and a sandwich!” Why?! When there are ribs and sausage links to be cooked! Panera Bread makes most of their money on girls wanting to “eat light” while warming up! Why??!

6. Excessive Layering

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Its not that cold! It just isn’t! I’m going to stick pins in my eyes if I see it this fall!!! You look homeless…there…I said it…happy?…Why do I always have to be the bad guy lol.

7. Excessive Layering….BUT NO LEATHER!

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Leather is the ONLY badass thing about Fall but I hardly see people wear it! Lets be cool together you guys!!!

8. The Weather

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Its either SUPER COLD or freaking 85 and Sunny! Pick a season mother nature! If I wore boots yesterday, I don’t want to have to BUST out my flip flops tomorrow makin my way downtown walking fast as I’m homebound!

9. Pumpkin Patches

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Not every child loves pumpkin patches! Plus pumpkins taste disgusting!……Who am I kidding…I’ll be the first one to take my child to a pumpkin patch to grab some pictures…

10. PUMPKIN SPICE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!

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Pumpkin spice can go to the deepest part of hell and SUCK IT!!! Pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin spice cupcakes, pumpkin spice flavored thongs!!!….WHY GOD WHY!!!???? I don’t need anything butternut squash flavored or pumpkin spice scented…NOTHING…I don’t want it!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

I’m done with life….look for me next Spring because just I CANT with Winter either! lol

HAPPY FALL EVERYONE!!!

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Why Being YOU Will Be the Most Difficult Thing You Ever Do

This past year has been nothing if not extremely difficult when it came to figuring out WHO I wanted to be. What adults seem to have forgotten to tell us is how to discover who you are while navigating through tons of “potential options” of who you COULD be. Its quite depressing actually. I’ve felt strangled by ideals of how I should act because I’m black, things I should and shouldn’t do because I’m a male, how I should feel about myself because I grew up overweight, and blah blah blah tons of other things aimed to make me feel like less of a person. And honestly, those thoughts took a toll on my confidence and self worth. What happened is that I could not formulate a true representation of who I wanted to be, mainly because if I didn’t wear Jordans and wanted to wear Dr. Martens, I would be considered weird or if I didn’t know the latest turn up ratchet song and knew the latest Katy Perry pop jam I was somehow less of a man. Discovering who I wanted to be and feeling confident in that decision by far has been the hardest thing that I’ve ever experienced. And what sucks is that I truly believe that figuring out who I was, was just as much of a journey for everyone else as it was for me. I wished I worried more about myself than anything that anybody else ever said or thought about who I was.

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The guy above is so cool to me. I’m sure this isn’t his true self (clearly styled for a photo) but if we could just pretend that he woke up that morning and decided to put this outfit on himself. Minus the cigar in his fingers, he has defined a style for himself that I am still working to craft for myself. But where I come from, this would be considered different and weird. It wasn’t until I hit the age of 23…wait…that was like four months ago….okay…well…it wasn’t until about four months ago that I decided that I would live for me. Not the people around me…including my parents, friends, girlfriend (though everyone is completely on board with this new self that I’m creating!) I was growing so tired of feeling like I wanted to break out…I wanted to dress the way I wanted to dress. I wanted to pierce whatever the hell I wanted to pierce and { if ONLY I could grow a beard}, I would beard the hell out of my face! This stigma of becoming a professional so you have to remain rigid and demure was pissing me off and if I had to dress like a priest to work then when I wasn’t working, I was going to wear everything and the kitchen sink if I wanted to dammit!

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My advice to you all is to live for yourself as much as you possibly can. And that’s in the way you dress, your opinions, your motivations, who you date, who you love, who you marry, what you identify as being you. They say the people who mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind, so go out there and forget about your fear and what’s holding you back. Be fearless…lord knows that I’m trying to…. Tell me how you’re attempting to be fearless, I could use the advice :)