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Feminism: Why I Love and F#@kin Hate It

I’ve talked about my stance on feminism before within other posts on FMQ but I have never really just dedicated an entire thought to my love/hate relationship for feminism and folks who call themselves feminists. I mean, Beyonce is my Queen so by default, I have to be a fighter for gender equality, right? But I have a multitude of reasons why sometimes I just want to say FUCK feminism and none of them have anything to do with me feeling any superiority because I have a penis. It all stems from the people who call themselves “feminists” and how they choose to send their message. Nothing sends me running towards the hills quicker than a rally of women burning their bras and dumping pounds of birth control into our water wells. Watch the video below that has been making waves on social media:

  I heard about this video when I was listening to the radio and all the radio djs absolutely HATED that these girls were cursing and raising a middle finger. I actually did not think it was that bad…I mean color me jaded but I’ve seen worse than this from children in the street who were cursing just because it was Tuesday and they were reciting their favorite Lil Wayne or Lil Boosie lyrics (If you don’t know who Lil Boosie is, then take yourself to Spotify and GET YO LIFE…he’s ratchet trash but my goodness I love him.) Anywho…at LEAST these girls were cursing for a reason. I’m not offended in the least; however, this did have me think about my ideal of feminism and why I sometimes want to kick every feminist in the face with a spiked boot…Sorry…but walk with me for a moment…

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As a male, I feel like my role in this quest to gender equality is to shut my mouth and to silently agree with what women are doing. My only problem…besides never being able to shut my mouth…is that I don’t ALWAYS agree with how some people think feminism and feminists should look in our society. I do not believe that burning bras and shaming other people such as celebrities is the appropriate way to spread awareness for equal rights.

I wrote an article a while back about Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda single cover where she is in FULL SQUAT MODE showing her butt to the camera. I thought it was tasteless and I thought she owed her fans more. I was criticized by some readers because they felt I should let Nicki do what she wants and not say anything about it and I’m contributing to women feeling ashamed of their bodies and blah blah blah. My issue was not that Nicki COULD NOT do what she did. I honestly don’t care what Nicki does, as of today, she hasn’t paid ONE of my bills, but while I celebrate her rights as a woman to do what she wants, I do not feel like I have to support her every decision. I consider myself a feminist, a person who believes in the social, economical, and political equality of the sexes (Thanks Beyonce and Chimamanda Adichie) but I don’t always think that being the loudest or the most radical is the way to get your point across. I thought the video was quite mild but lets not get crazy!

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I think that we have a long way to go until every person in this country feels accepted and feels like they have a place among their neighbors but the most important thing right now is to begin the conversation. You can miss me with all the PETA-ish methods to bring awareness to gender rights (women please continue to shower, use deodorant, and shave) but I’ll always be in the fight until everyone feels like they can be who they want to be. Man, woman, gay, straight, bi, trans, tall, short, black, white, chubby, skinny, phat….It doesn’t matter…we’re all humans and we all have to learn to treat each other with love and respect. There’s this episode of Glee that I remember where the students called themselves Unicorns because they were magical and rare, and beautiful and enchanting. I believe we all should strive to be unicorns because a little magic here and there has never hurt anybody…i mean…unless its black magic….then…don’t do that…just good magic…only good :)

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Picture of badass robot unicorn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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10 Reasons Why Fall Can Go Suck It!

October is finally here and for some of us, its the most exciting time of the year, for others (like myself whose heart is BLACK *insert emo face*) dread seeing the leaves turn colors, grass dying, and the temperature drop below 95…at least here in Texas anyway. You may be asking yourself, “Gee Preston, I thought EVERYONE loved Fall. Why don’t you? You stupid or sum thin’?” Well…no, I like to think that I have the cure for cancer locked deep inside my brain, all I would need is for someone to pull that greatness out of me and donate 3 easy payments of $99.99. No big deal! Anywho, I have collected my top 10 reasons why Fall can go suck it…and if you don’t know what “it” is, feel free to use your imagination!

1. Girls + Brown Boots

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Like whose idea was this? I’m convinced that every girl has this little microchip in their brain and it sends signals of what other girls are doing. Hoping to not fall victim to FOMO (fear of missing out) they purchase BROWN…not black…not white…BROWN riding boots and wear them everyday, everywhere, ALL THE TIME…What did we do to you?

2. Infinity Scarves

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I love Pinterest…thats where I find all of my pictures…but please, NOT EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE AN INFINITY SCARF! Your neck can’t be THAT cold!

3. New F@#&ing Couples

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I’ve been in a relationship for the past five years, so I get it…but NONE of you guys are concerned with being in a relationship until it becomes “cuddle” weather….#icant

4. Dark Makeup

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Dark makeup is not just regulated to the Fall and Winter months…Dark makeup is cool and sexy as hell! You can wear it all year long…girls are like, “Its finally 79.9 degrees, time to bust out my dark, matte lip!” UGH.

5. Panera Bread and McAllisters

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Why do girls say, “Its so cold outside, I could definitely go from a bowl of soup and a sandwich!” Why?! When there are ribs and sausage links to be cooked! Panera Bread makes most of their money on girls wanting to “eat light” while warming up! Why??!

6. Excessive Layering

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Its not that cold! It just isn’t! I’m going to stick pins in my eyes if I see it this fall!!! You look homeless…there…I said it…happy?…Why do I always have to be the bad guy lol.

7. Excessive Layering….BUT NO LEATHER!

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Leather is the ONLY badass thing about Fall but I hardly see people wear it! Lets be cool together you guys!!!

8. The Weather

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Its either SUPER COLD or freaking 85 and Sunny! Pick a season mother nature! If I wore boots yesterday, I don’t want to have to BUST out my flip flops tomorrow makin my way downtown walking fast as I’m homebound!

9. Pumpkin Patches

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Not every child loves pumpkin patches! Plus pumpkins taste disgusting!……Who am I kidding…I’ll be the first one to take my child to a pumpkin patch to grab some pictures…

10. PUMPKIN SPICE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!

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Pumpkin spice can go to the deepest part of hell and SUCK IT!!! Pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin spice cupcakes, pumpkin spice flavored thongs!!!….WHY GOD WHY!!!???? I don’t need anything butternut squash flavored or pumpkin spice scented…NOTHING…I don’t want it!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!

I’m done with life….look for me next Spring because just I CANT with Winter either! lol

HAPPY FALL EVERYONE!!!

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Why Being YOU Will Be the Most Difficult Thing You Ever Do

This past year has been nothing if not extremely difficult when it came to figuring out WHO I wanted to be. What adults seem to have forgotten to tell us is how to discover who you are while navigating through tons of “potential options” of who you COULD be. Its quite depressing actually. I’ve felt strangled by ideals of how I should act because I’m black, things I should and shouldn’t do because I’m a male, how I should feel about myself because I grew up overweight, and blah blah blah tons of other things aimed to make me feel like less of a person. And honestly, those thoughts took a toll on my confidence and self worth. What happened is that I could not formulate a true representation of who I wanted to be, mainly because if I didn’t wear Jordans and wanted to wear Dr. Martens, I would be considered weird or if I didn’t know the latest turn up ratchet song and knew the latest Katy Perry pop jam I was somehow less of a man. Discovering who I wanted to be and feeling confident in that decision by far has been the hardest thing that I’ve ever experienced. And what sucks is that I truly believe that figuring out who I was, was just as much of a journey for everyone else as it was for me. I wished I worried more about myself than anything that anybody else ever said or thought about who I was.

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The guy above is so cool to me. I’m sure this isn’t his true self (clearly styled for a photo) but if we could just pretend that he woke up that morning and decided to put this outfit on himself. Minus the cigar in his fingers, he has defined a style for himself that I am still working to craft for myself. But where I come from, this would be considered different and weird. It wasn’t until I hit the age of 23…wait…that was like four months ago….okay…well…it wasn’t until about four months ago that I decided that I would live for me. Not the people around me…including my parents, friends, girlfriend (though everyone is completely on board with this new self that I’m creating!) I was growing so tired of feeling like I wanted to break out…I wanted to dress the way I wanted to dress. I wanted to pierce whatever the hell I wanted to pierce and { if ONLY I could grow a beard}, I would beard the hell out of my face! This stigma of becoming a professional so you have to remain rigid and demure was pissing me off and if I had to dress like a priest to work then when I wasn’t working, I was going to wear everything and the kitchen sink if I wanted to dammit!

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My advice to you all is to live for yourself as much as you possibly can. And that’s in the way you dress, your opinions, your motivations, who you date, who you love, who you marry, what you identify as being you. They say the people who mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind, so go out there and forget about your fear and what’s holding you back. Be fearless…lord knows that I’m trying to…. Tell me how you’re attempting to be fearless, I could use the advice :)

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To Choose Love, Or To Choose Fashion

I haven’t been able to post as much as I would like recently because I have been trying to plan out the next stages of my life including the direction I want the blog to go in, the new additions I want to add, as well as where I want my professional career to go. In the midst of all that, I’m in a relationship of five years with the love of my life who also is trying to progress her career. I want her to have everything that she’s ever dreamed of but I also want to be able to follow my dreams as well. So that brings me to the question, To Choose Love or To Choose Fashion. Now thats the question thats relevant to me, but for you the question might be To Choose Love or to Choose That New Dream Job in New York or for some, To Choose Love or to Choose That Last Piece of Pecan Pie…(I’m not excluding you single folks!) But even thinking about having to make a choice is terrifying!

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I want my dream job and my dream girl all at the same time DAMMIT! But its looking like someone may have to sacrifice a piece of their dream in order for the other to follow theirs.  So what do you do? Do you separate for as long as you need to in order to pursue your dream until you can be physically together? My girlfriend suggested that I read Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg in order to understand the plight of what women who pursue professional careers go through. She’s big on competing and being a dominating force in an industry historically ran by men and I want her to go out there and fight! But with me potentially having a career in fashion, there are two major markets in the US that would have optimum opportunity, New York City and Los Angeles. There are other markets like Dallas and Atlanta that are growing but I’ve lived in both of those cities and I think that I would prefer to be in the heart of where it all goes down!! Meet me in the Squaaare, its goin’ dooown…(sorry to put you all through that Yung Joc reference…I just had to get it out of me.) But New York would be fantastic for my career but it may not hold the same fruit for my girlfriend, so what should we do?

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We decided that love will ALWAYS be there and we don’t have to be within the same zip code to have love. But we’re actively going to try to be together! That being said, we plan to shoot for states where both of our dreams can flourish: New York, California, Washington, Texas, and maybe…kinda..not really…Georgia (I love Georgia, but I spent my first 18 years there so I just really….strongly….DESPERATELY….want to see what else to world has to offer). Then we’re going to apply for schools and jobs in all those locations. After that…Its all up to God! Hopefully, we’ll have doors opened in the same state for both of us so we can both live our dreams TOGETHER but if doors open in separate places, then we will make the best decision then. But for us, the number one priority is our careers and our future. If we have to sacrifice time together then we’re willing to do that but we love love and we love each other so it’ll all work out regardless of where we end up. We will both eventually have all we’ve ever wanted.

So, with that being said, Go Out and Live!!! Don’t search for love, let love find you! Chase your dreams and shoot for everything that you’ve ever wanted. But the main thing is to never loose focus and to do a little something everyday to get you closer to your dreams. Love will happen! For me, love happened before my career. I didn’t plan it, I wasn’t looking for it. But when it happened, it was great! And I’m unbelievably happy to have a partner to navigate this crazy world with! The answer MY question, I refuse to either choose love or fashion….cuz baby, *Insert sassy neck roll*, Imma have my cake AND eat it too!

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Kim Kardashian vs Mimi Faust: Is Kim a Secret Genius?

So back in my ratchet days, I used to love nothing more than to curl up on my full-sized air mattress (I was a broke college student…leave me alone) and watch hours of Love and Hip Hop. There’s no confidence boost better than watching The Puerto Rican Princess spew out broken English and watch her chase around a man who treats her like a piece of property. With all of the craziness, as a viewer, you go on a desperate hunt to find the beacon of hope. The one character who SURELY isn’t as crazy, or as desperate, or as mind-glowingly irritating as all the others. And we found that character in Mimi Faust! She had her own heap of craziness but at the end of the day, we felt sorry for her and we appreciated the fact that she was “attempting” to move forward with other men. Fast forward to the current season and Mimi has had the most talked about story line involving a “leaked” sex tape with her boyfriend Nikko.

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That sounds erringly familiar to a little Armenian girl by the name of Kimberly Noel Kardashian who too rose to fame by releasing a sex tape. But I can’t help but think that Kim was able to do it was a certain….je ne sais quoi….Kim was able to turn something that could have completely destroyed her name and reputation and turned it into a billion dollar empire. While Mimi has only managed to look at best like a complete idiot. Therefore, I am wondering if Kim Kardashian has a secret that none of us know about. Could Kim Kardashian be a secret genius?

Hear me out! I’m being a little tongue and cheek but I’m completely serious! I think that Kim may be the single, smartest person in the world. Who do you know that is worth millions of dollars with no obvious talent? Who can get away with selling a book of Instagram selfies for $20? Who earns money every time they have a wedding? What other reality star has graced the cover of Vogue magazine? Kim Kardashian has managed to become a household name and sometimes…SOMETIMES…we forget that she began her career as an unexpected porn star.

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So why can’t Mimi seem to have the same amazing rebound that Kim Kardashian managed to have? I know the obvious card to pull would be that she’s black and Kim is clearly a white woman but I think theres a deeper reason than race. What I gathered was that AT LEAST Kim didn’t own or act like she HAD to release her sex tape against all other odds, but Mimi tried to pretend that she had no other options and that she had to make the best decision for her and her family. Guh, POO CHEESE!  Basically, Mimi is an idiot. But look at the Queen of Reality TV Kim Kardashian who has built an entire empire including multiple tv shows, clothing lines, modeling deals, fragrances, and tons of other things.

ALL IN ALL, Kim is a genius. Mimi is the gum underneath your shoe.

That’s all.

I know I talked about two sex tapes today, but that doesn’t mean you need to go and search for them.

Don’t be nasty!

And that doesn’t mean that you should follow in the footprints of Kim because the odds of your career taking off from a sex tape….cough…Mimi….cough….is very slim to none! She is not a shining example of what you should aspire to do. Yes, please go get your checks, and become a business mogul, but DO NOT do it by releasing an “alleged” leaked sex tape.

But like the Player’s Club so wonderfully stated, Make that money, But don’t let that money make you!!!