Sorry for the late entry, life got real yesterday. Ever been in a situation where YOU knew that someone in your life was full of shit, but since you didn’t want to go to jail for assault…. or because you’re black, attempted murder, you just hold it in and punch your pillow. Well, yesterday was a trying day….But ANNNNYWHOOO.
Here we are with the third entry about the many different shades of beauty, specifically black beauty and how society has warped everyone’s perception of what beauty actually is. I couldn’t talk about this subject without talking about black men and their love for white girls. I’ve had many conversations with black women where they have a serious problem with their black men, usually successful black men, choosing white women as their brides. I personally think love is blind, so you really shouldn’t limit yourself when it comes to finding love but it wasn’t until I went to college that I kind of felt and understood what the black girls were saying. But why do black men prefer white women? Is it the novelty? Are white women that much more less “aggressive” as a black woman to warrant men running in the opposite direction? Or has society told black men that the highest form of beauty is possessed by a white woman? Its a lot to discuss, so much so that I think I will do a part 2 of this particular subject and talk about the flip side, black women with white men. Is there a reason why some black women give up on black men altogether?
“Hey black guy! Why are you dating a white woman instead of a woman from your own race? You some sell out or sumthin’?”
“Are you ignorant or sumthin? I think all women are beautiful and it just so happens that the woman I am in love with is white. So thanks for your concern, but maybe you should open your biased, racist eyes!”
This is CLEARLY a fabricated conversation that I just created thinking able what black men must say to all the people who are skeptical of his reasonings for being with a white woman. I just read an article at Gawker.com written by Ernest Baker about his views towards dating white women as a black man. And I think he makes some excellent points. One of his more interesting points,
“The thing is, I have to consider that while I’ve hooked up with women of other races, just about all of my girlfriends in life, since I was 13, have been white. What does that even mean? Am I secretly one of those black guys who thinks white women are better and hotter and I’m just not ignorant enough to admit it? I’ve never gone out of my way to reject black women; I just have way higher success rates with white women. I went to a black high school and I wasn’t on any of that thug shit and I’m not saying all black women want thugs, but at my high school, a lot of them did and they didn’t really care about me. And that’s fine. I wasn’t like, “Oh my God, black women don’t want me,” because I’m not entitled to any woman. But there were white girls at school who were fucking with me and that’s who I went with.”
* To Read the full article: The Reality of Dating White Women When You’re Black
WELP! Well I believe all of us guys can relate to that statement. You want to date, and you want to enjoy the company of a girl but if only one particular type of girl is willing to date you…what are you suppose to do? I definitely struggled with dating in high school because I, like Barker, wasn’t a “thug” and I was/still am fat (whatever, eating baked chicken and brown rice everyday is hard). It wasn’t until freshman year in college where girls were finally interested in all my lovin’!
In conclusion, I think that black men are constantly fed thoughts that white women are the most desirable so I think in way, a black man aspires or feels like he has made it if he dates and marries a white woman. This is completely false. I think once you find the person your meant to be with, no matter the race, you have achieved something a lot of other people are so desperate to find. I also think there’s still a sense of novelty and taboo that comes along with dating a white woman as a black man. Somehow dating a black woman is excepted, almost easier, while dating a white woman is a conquest. At the end of the day, we have to do a better job in not only teaching women to love themselves but also teach men that they can find beauty in every woman if they take the time to look.
Next week we’ll talk about the flip side. Why are black girls now preferring to date white guys? What are your thoughts? Sound off below!